It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
