About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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