sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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