he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
