Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize