M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
