idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
