I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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