In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
