how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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