he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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