My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
vagina is talking i cant
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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