My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
