Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
