I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
