She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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