doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize