I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
