I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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