If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
