We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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