Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize