just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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