is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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