The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
