is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
