They should really pass out barf bags in church
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
