Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
