she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
