between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
