And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
