She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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