So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So apparently I’m into choking now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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