There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
