I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
