Yo dont text me then not text me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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