If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im holly from the hills drunk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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