She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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