420 ftw
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
