I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
