I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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