Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
