My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
