Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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