theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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