addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
