I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize