I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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