There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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