Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
