I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
