Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
