tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
