everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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