We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
