But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
