I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
