I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
