Kiss
Puke
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
