I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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