"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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