I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
