If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
