The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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