Please, let me fuck your mom
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize