Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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