please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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